What to text after a first date is a question that we at Intermezzo Montreal are often asked. All couples use text messages but the quality is far more important than the quantity. That being said, there is a marked difference when it comes to ”quantity” between men and women.
A study published in the ”Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy” in 2013 found that men who text a lot were more likely to report a higher level of dissatisfaction with their relationship. Researchers believe that it was a way to progressively disengage from the relationship by avoiding more face-to-face and intimate conversation. For women, a higher number of text messages sent showed the opposite. Women who texted a lot were found to report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships. They used texting as an additional way to express their feelings – although the men weren’t always receptive to this type of conversation through SMS.
At Intermezzo Montreal, we believe that text messages are part of life! However, its important to remember that non-verbal cues are a primordial part of communication. Studies have suggested that approximately 80% of what we say lies in non-verbal cues such as facial expression and body language among others. It is thus important to keep the texting to a minimum at the beginning of a new relationship when you are trying to get to know someone. Keep the important conversations for when you find each other hand-in-hand and cellphone stored away!
Joan S. Paiement
