Single and looking for love ? You should behave accordingly. If you are looking for love but behave like a recreational dater you will not get the results you desire. Recreational dating is exactly what the name suggests. The expected outcome is a fun time with as many people as possible without any expectation of a commitment. Serious dating, on the other hand, is screening for a long-term relationship potential. But often people are not clear about their dating status and find themselves discouraged with the lack of success. As a matchmaker I come across these confused singles regularly.
Savvy singles looking for a serious relationship exhibit these behaviors and attitudes:
1. They give their date a fair chance: The goal of a first encounter is to break the ice and pique your date’s interest. You bring your best and you keep it light and fun. Looks are important because both of you will be judging attraction, but if you are looking for a serious relationship, you should be screening for much more than just the physical. If you find yourself praying that the person crossing the parking lot is not your blind date and it turns out it is, what does that say about you? If you decide it’s a no-go even before you’ve met, you are probably dismissing some great people, maybe even the one… but you’ll never know.
2. Every date is an opportunity: It may be obvious to you in the first fifteen minutes that your date does not have long-term potential. So you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Use this opportunity to practice your dating skills and above all have a good time. You may learn something new about the world or about yourself. If you shut down and just ‘’do the time’’ you will make yourself miserable. You also risk leaving a negative impression and you never know how that could come back to haunt you.
3. They have a positive attitude: Positive people are simply more attractive in every sense of the word. Their view of self and others makes it a pleasure to be in their company, no matter the purpose. So if you’re pouting in disappointment and imposing negativity on your date you are speaking volumes about who you are without uttering a single word. You may not think of yourself as a negative or judgmental person but actions speak louder than words. That attitude will negatively impact your desired results.
4. They live in the present moment: The moment you find yourself in is the only one that counts. What you make of it is entirely up to you. If you squander the possibilities of that moment, they will be relegated to the past forever. And it will be too late. If your idea of a good time is rehashing the past or making future plans with a person you’ve just met, you will scare people off.
5. They are the partner they hope to attract: This is an important one! What they ask of potential partners, they are willing and able to deliver themselves. If you are looking for traits in a partner that you cannot or will not bring to a relationship, your search will be in vain.
Paola Graziani, Certified Coach
